I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
