sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
