I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Holy sore nipples Batman
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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