i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
