i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
