things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
