after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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