I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm passing your future prison.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
