I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
