Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
