True but thats because hes a fetus.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
