My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
