do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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