just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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