Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
