Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
