I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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