He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
