are you still at the devil's house?
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
even my farts smell like vagina
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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