Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
