I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
now i know why i became what i already was.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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