260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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