We won't sleep together?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
