im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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