No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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