absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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