im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
