I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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