I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
