Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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