i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
