I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
