Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
