What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
