At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
