Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
