there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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