the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
