You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She announced her abortion via fbk
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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