Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
