You're a womanizer and a bitch.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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