Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?