Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.

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(801): View more from Utah

I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.

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(818): View more from California

He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(864): View more from South Carolina

Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...

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(940): View more from Texas

Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago

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(815): View more from Illinois

After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.

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(775): View more from Nevada

If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.

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