just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
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that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
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You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.