I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
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Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
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But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.