Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets