I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
