Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone

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  (201): now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone http://tfl.nu/mcch
  Replies (19) Good night (664) Bad night (4076)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life

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  (480): p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life http://tfl.nu/eu21
  Replies (24) Good night (4939) Bad night (712)
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  (951): View more from California

  Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?

  (949): View more from California

  Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.

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  (951): Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn? (949): Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER. http://tfl.nu/x4x0
  Replies (29) Good night (1072) Bad night (3885)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.

  (1-631): View more from New York

  I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.

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  (631): I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified. (1-631): I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes. http://tfl.nu/l5ui
  Replies (50) Good night (7184) Bad night (1838)
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  (408): View more from California

  sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds

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  (408): sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds http://tfl.nu/sr5n
  Replies (38) Good night (4770) Bad night (1082)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations

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  (609): Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations http://tfl.nu/c8fe
  Replies (6) Good night (2694) Bad night (1167)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.

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  (206): We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts. http://tfl.nu/k2p7
  Replies (18) Good night (6527) Bad night (954)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.

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  (308): Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/fw94
  Replies (14) Good night (5963) Bad night (1015)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".

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  (724): He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming". http://tfl.nu/90md
  Replies (4) Good night (1830) Bad night (936)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog

  (989): View more from Michigan

  They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.

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  (989): I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog (989): They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries. http://tfl.nu/meap
  Replies (5) Good night (1190) Bad night (609)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.

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  (414): Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course. http://tfl.nu/ipu8
  Replies (7) Good night (1270) Bad night (813)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.

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  (651): I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like. http://tfl.nu/5ic3
  Replies (2) Good night (541) Bad night (846)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.

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  (605): If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van. http://tfl.nu/2zw8
  Replies (4) Good night (599) Bad night (534)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."

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  (304): It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry." http://tfl.nu/xw8s
  Replies (9) Good night (428) Bad night (879)
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  (845): View more from New York

  It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.

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  (845): It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair. http://tfl.nu/3qrj
  Replies (1) Good night (391) Bad night (286)

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