this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
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before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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