so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
