no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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