dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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