mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
