Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
