After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize