I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
