my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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