Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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