Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
