My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
