He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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