you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
