hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
please come you make the beer taste better
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize